Ok, the limited consensus is that I get to hang here. So my CSU trip story.
I don't travel or go to away games much. But this year, I thought well shit I need to get out. So we (me and dog) decided to road trip to WSU's season opener at CSU. I was then going to go to Austin TX and visit my son. In my pickup and camper. 1100 miles from YakiVegas - oops Yakima WA - where I currently live to Fort Collins. So off we go on Wednesday.
First day, all is well. Ended up in Dillon Montana, 500 miles away. Found out later that I took a wrong turn on the freeway and had I kept going I would have ended up in Idaho. Luckily it was getting dark and I pulled in only 15 miles in the wrong direction. I found this little park to relieve the dog, and promptly tripped over her, spraining the shit out of my ankle and losing my wallet, not realizing it. When I realized it, I went back to look for it but couldn't find it in the dark. Alcohol was becoming a factor at that point, and I was in a place I'd never been.
Chapter 2. I drive up the road a bit, and pull off the highway behind the guard rail. Kind of catty whompus parked, as in damn near tipping over. I'm sitting there with a bunch of full beers and a pile of emptys, when two deputies knocked on my window. Keys were not in the ignition and I was going nowhere that night. So they quizzed me a bit and I told them my sad story. They said they could take me in for DUI and I said my keys were not in the ignition and I didn't even know where they were (in my pocket). They said "physical control". Think my dog saved me, as in what are you going to do with my dog if you arrest me? So they let me go with my assurance that I wasn't going anywhere. Thank Gawd for Montana cops. In WA I would have been arrested and tased.
Chapter 3. So I groggily wake up the next morning, having slept in the cab. Opened the door and promptly fell out into the gravel because of my park job. Ouch. Let the dog out and she takes off into the weeds. Shit. I searched and finally found her across the interstate sitting by an overpass. WTF? Managed to collect her and get her back into the truck. Thankfully still had a couple of beers left to regain my senses. So at that point I had no money, no credit or debit card, no ID and was about out of gas. So I limped back into Dillon and tried to find this park, to no avail. Not enough gas to do a thorough search around town. Word to the wise when a Chevy truck's gas gauge sez you are empty, you are empty. Unlike my Subaru, which sez empty with a couple of gallons still in there.
Chapter 4. I didn't eat for 2 days as I couldn't buy anything cuz I had no money! And knew exactly no one within 400 miles. More importantly, no beer either. I finally got smart and cajoled a buddy back home to Western Union me $120 for gas money. Turns out that at 11 miles a gallon $120 ain't gonna do it. I'm again limping down the freeway at 55 to save gas, while everybody is blowing by me at 80. Got as far as Missoula then turned in for the night.
Chapter 5. So next day I got as far as Post Falls, ID. Out of gas, no more money. Now what? If I got to Spokane WA I could get to my bank. Saturday morning at this point. I pulled into this gas station, and this nice and fairly cute woman was gassing up. "Hello ma'am, I really hate to ask but could I steal $5 of gas?" The sweety had me pull forward and gave me $15 worth! I'm pretty persuasive cuz I'm pretty cute and at this point pathetic. Good because $5 would not have gotten me there. Got to Spokane with my only ID my truck's registration. Talked the bank (Credit Union) into giving me a withdrawal. Filled up and got back to YakiVegas. Needless to say, I did not get to the CSU game, and certainly did not get down to Texas. Truck and camper have not moved since. Still traumatized.
Postscript. Left my contact info with the city and county cops, never heard back about my wallet. Thankfully no one used my cards, and I only lost about $400 in cash. And pictures of my kids and not sure what else. I'm pretty sure I will fly the next time I go to an away game. And my damn ankle took about 3 months to quit hurting. Could barely walk for the first few weeks.
Hope you all get a chuckle out of this.
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