Chris Beard died of a cocaine overdose. On the way to Hell, St Peter offered him a brief tour of heaven. At the end of the tour, he took him to meet God. They approached a huge scarlet and gray mansion and went inside. There, they found God making tea, and Tark, Gondo, and Chris Richardson lounging around talking and laughing. UNLV posters were everywhere.
"I don't understand," Beard complained. "I was certain that you chose me to lead Texas Tech."
"That is true," replied God. "I wanted you to lead Texas Tech. Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Winners don't drink tea," answered Beard. "I don't understand why you chose me to lead Texas Tech if you aren't a Texas Tech fan!"
"It's simple," said God. "I chose you to lead Texas Tech because I'm a UNLV fan."