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OT: An Iraq Veteran Still Battling - My Story

XFactorRebel

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Jul 11, 2012
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This started as just a plug for a band, Five Finger Death Punch, but I got carried away (WAY too long). I hope you all don't mind, I want to start constructing a story, maybe even turn into a book one day. I plan to explain my experiences from the Army, Basic, joining young, as well the wart itself. But I also want to introduce a band that, with my family, also helps me get through so much, Five Finger Death Punch. If it is okay with everyone, I'd like to continue to add to this thread until it's done.

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I joined the Army at 17 years old during my junior year in high school as part of the delayed entry program. A little over one year later, it is July of 2001, and upon HS graduation I meet with my Army recruiter for the last time before I take my flight to Fort Benning, GA as an official member of the United States Army.

Fast forward some weeks and I am a mere week away from graduation from Basic Training during our final training exercise, as MonsterJam knows as well (my Army veteran brother), the event in which we take all learned and apply it to a simulated combat simulation.

The day is now September 11, 2001, and our once strict, rigid, tough Infantry bred Drill Sergeants (mind you this is Fort Benning, home of the 82nd AIRBORNE Div at the time - also the satellite site for Ft. Bragg) call us all into an open field for a, what we thought, was simply another moment for Drill Instructors to utilize the moment for another learning experience via hardened learning as I like to call it. This time it feels very much different than the normal way we were used to experiencing our Drill Instructors, there was dread, despair and what I thought as an inevitable fear of their fate.

Drill or not, you are still a US Army soldier too, feeling the very same emotions us trainees would. As they began to explain the events occurring that Sep 11th morning the emotions shown by them sunk in. After the explanation they had to do, with the mindset of a teacher to a student after a tragic event, had to break the truth to us, "We're going to war." This was the last thing heard prior to graduation as we learned our chosen duty stations.

I now know my future in this new, modern era of war, of conflict. I would be joining the 66th Military Intelligence company, the largest "MI" company in the known world. We were an attachment of one of the most feared heavy armor regiments in the modern age. The 3rd Armored Calvary Regiment, consisting of an inconceivable number of 72 ton M1A3 main battle tanks, Bradley Fighting Vehicles, Scouts and an entire aviation squadron. Though thrown into a world of turmoil and deployment uncertainty I finally find a sense of comfort, confidence and enter a Brotherhood I will be a part of forever.

It is now December of 2002, and we begin to hear news of our leaders next plan to combat the atrocities of this world, that target is Iraq. It's now 2003, January, as the brisk moist freezing weather overtakes and takes our very breath, we learn this may actually be our last company run along the golf course and foothills of Fort Carson, CO.
 
The day we all knew would come has arrived, we receive our potential combat orders. We are to be in theater, Kuwait, in readiness for the possibility of the invasion of Iraq, April of 2003 if US demands are not met. Saddam must dismantle and leave Iraq or the worldwide coalition of forces would begin operations to liberate the region. It is now February 2003, forecast: HOT. We are in Kuwait, awaiting delivery of our war machines in order to do what we must if it becomes reality.

You see, many have so many mixed feelings about the war I speak of, and I respect all of them, but we were there because we had to be. It isn't like we had the choice many others had to pick and choose what they stuck with, and quit professionally. We must now change out mindset. We have to survive.
 
Above I plan to have alot more added, it's got a ton off holes in it. I also plan to add much more after, over the next few days followed by a final version of the whole thing. This place (Rebel-Net) has been another important part of my ability to feel normal again over the years.
 
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Every time someone talks about their military experiences, I get a bad flash backs. I wish I can give you some inputs but it’s too much for me to relive it at times
 
Oh boy, here we go, damn it another chemical attack drill? Do you have any idea how hot that shit is sir? Yes indeed, you guessed right. It's time for another Iraqi chemical attach drill. MOP suit and gas masks on, 130 degrees, right before lunch, but we understood. It was just our way to feel at home, like when Mom tell's yo to get off the video game, or clean up for dinner, we all knew it was necessary in the end.

We're very close now, we sense it by watching everyone around us. We see the news recorded from what now seems like a different, distant world...home...it feels so foreign now. It feels so far away, but we have brotherhood, an in-explainable brotherly love. Lifelong bonds formed now begin to grow even stronger. No movement despite the warnings, that reality has arrived.

We are now 24 hours from the deadline, we begin to prep our tanks, Intelligence systems, communication, gear, ammo and so much more, our minds. That day was a whirlwind, so close now, instinct and what we learned from our drill instructors kicks in. "It's go time boys" we told ourselves.
 
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Every time someone talks about their military experiences, I get a bad flash backs. I wish I can give you some inputs but it’s too much for me to relive it at times

I get it trust me, it's part of why I want to try this out. It's almost like feeling alone in a dark box unable to find your way out. thank you trip, feeling that way and responding, being there means alot to me.
 
Oh boy, here we go, damn it another chemical attack drill? Do you have any idea how hot that shit is sir? Yes indeed, you guessed right. It's time for another Iraqi chemical attach drill. MOP suit and gas masks on, 130 degrees, right before lunch, but we understood. It was just our way to feel at home, like when Mom tell's yo to get off the video game, or clean up for dinner, we all knew it was necessary in the end.

We're very close now, we sense it by watching everyone around us. We see the news recorded from what now seems like a different, distant world...home...it feels so foreign now. It feels so far away, but we have brotherhood, an in-explainable brotherly love. Lifelong bonds formed now begin to grow even stronger. No movement despite the warnings, that reality has arrived.

We are now 24 hours from the deadline, we begin to prep our tanks, Intelligence systems, communication, gear, ammo and so much more, our minds. That day was a whirlwind, so close now, instinct and what we learned from our drill instructors kicks in. "It's go time boys" we told ourselves.

As someone sitting on my couch, and disagreeing with invading Iraq....my only thoughts at the point of chemical warefare preparation was how concerned I was for our troops being put in this position. Bad intel, manipulated intel, it didn’t matter....was concerned about my countrymen.

I’ve had a few friends that served in this period, and i’ve seen some horrific things through those friends. A glimpse into an abyss i’ll never know, an abyss I never want to experience.

My heart goes out to you and your brothers/sisters. It’s a horror show that we need to be very cautious of. It’s war.

And one step further, we need to care for those that venture into this wilderness. Our VA needs massive improvement, our support programs for vets needs some serious reevaluation. Since Vietnam, we have just failed you all, and it breaks my heart.

Thank you.
 
@j. spilotro Do you know if silent edits keep the thread from 'bumping' to the top? I want to keep adding but I don't want to always bump to the top of the forum out of respect for the board.
 
@j. spilotro Do you know if silent edits keep the thread from 'bumping' to the top? I want to keep adding but I don't want to always bump to the top of the forum out of respect for the board.
I’m not sure. I wouldn’t think so but just not sure. I wouldn’t worry about bumping though. You marked it OT. People can tell from the header what it is and they are free to read or skip it whether it’s at the top of the board or lower. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
 
I'll hop on and write some more this week, we've been doing a convention so its been busy. I really appreciate the encouragement!
 
I thank you and all those who have served. Regardless if the civilians agree (which I have no issue where we went and what we did, I remember the shell game Sudam played and he and his evil sons got exactly what they deserved in the end), you served your nation and did your duty. I thank all of you for your service. I have a Marine nephew that served a tour in Afgan, and another in Airborn that did 2 tours there as well. They both have scars that will be with them for the rest of their lives.
 
Oh boy, here we go, damn it another chemical attack drill? Do you have any idea how hot that shit is sir? Yes indeed, you guessed right. It's time for another Iraqi chemical attach drill. MOP suit and gas masks on, 130 degrees, right before lunch, but we understood. It was just our way to feel at home, like when Mom tell's yo to get off the video game, or clean up for dinner, we all knew it was necessary in the end.

We're very close now, we sense it by watching everyone around us. We see the news recorded from what now seems like a different, distant world...home...it feels so foreign now. It feels so far away, but we have brotherhood, an in-explainable brotherly love. Lifelong bonds formed now begin to grow even stronger. No movement despite the warnings, that reality has arrived.

We are now 24 hours from the deadline, we begin to prep our tanks, Intelligence systems, communication, gear, ammo and so much more, our minds. That day was a whirlwind, so close now, instinct and what we learned from our drill instructors kicks in. "It's go time boys" we told ourselves.

As someone sitting on my couch, and disagreeing with invading Iraq....my only thoughts at the point of chemical warefare preparation was how concerned I was for our troops being put in this position. Bad intel, manipulated intel, it didn’t matter....was concerned about my countrymen.

I’ve had a few friends that served in this period, and i’ve seen some horrific things through those friends. A glimpse into an abyss i’ll never know, an abyss I never want to experience.

My heart goes out to you and your brothers/sisters. It’s a horror show that we need to be very cautious of. It’s war.

And one step further, we need to care for those that venture into this wilderness. Our VA needs massive improvement, our support programs for vets needs some serious reevaluation. Since Vietnam, we have just failed you all, and it breaks my heart.

Thank you.

I remember you disagreeing when the Iraq War started.

I forgot which president in WW 1 went to war. Give the overall objective 25 years and gauge what happened.

Bush is a fool but if Iraq gets their act together than he succeeded.
 
My nephew was just promoted to CWO III, he's a Marine. Starting salary is less then 4000 a month, although at I think 25 years service he can top out at almost 7000. He started as a cook for crying out loud with 1 little stripe.

His technical skills are so advanced now he doesn't even wear a uniform anymore, has a teenage unshaven facial hair, scraggly haircut.
I don't even know what he does now. I know it's counter intelligence. He showed me his shield. He works mostly at the Pentagon though with in and out trips to whatever part of the world they send him. He loves it though and has about 15-17 years in. I hope he's picking nuke targets out, this crap in Afghanistan is getting ridiculous- EDIT
 
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